So this is Christmas, and what have I done? Another year over, a new one just begun. And so this is Christmas, and did I have fun? The near and the dear one, so old and so young.
I am thirty years old, and it’s Christmas. Where am I and what the hell am I doing? I just want a viable way out of my mess of a life and a way to the life I want so badly. I know nothing is easy. Nothing ever has been. I think of the spectrum of people that run through my life. From those who are married, have Ph.Ds, and are on their way to seeming happiness, to those who are married, having babies, or just getting married. And then there are people who can’t seem to get it together. I guess you can never tell what is under the hood of someone’s life. It could be seemingly perfect on the outside and just a mess underneath. I guess I put on a pretty good show to those that don’t know me (and those that do know me, really, are very very few). No one knows how much of a mess I am, how close to the edge I am walking, how I live the way I do, traveling, because if I stay in one place too long, then I won’t be able to handle it.
There is such a thing as needing to be with the ones you love. The older I get, the more I realize how true this is. I get so lonely on the road, but I really have no choice but to stay here. The experiences I get really are priceless, and I wouldn’t exchange them. It’s just Christmas, and I miss my parents, my brother, my girlfriend and her family, and my dog. So I am going to try and wrap myself up in a big Christmas bundle of lights and movies and music and try not to let myself drown in my tears.
Christmas may be commercial, but I love every second of it. The glitter, lights, constant commercials, Santas, bells, and all the garish hoopla that goes with it. Because even though we don’t need a day to tell us to appreciate the ones we love and allow us to be together, Christmas means something, even more nowadays, that cannot be replaced. It’s a time where everyone seems to care, and people give without thinking, and families come together, love or hate, and spend time together. Yes, it’s true that we should make every day Christmas, but that will never happen. So I cling to the one month a year where all of this is a given. And yes, I cry because I am lonely. But I know there are people in my situation as well. So to them, I wish you a very Happy Christmas, and a knowing that you aren’t the only ones.
A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear
And so this is Christmas
For weak and for strong
For rich and the poor ones
The world is so wrong
And so happy Christmas
For black and for white
For yellow and red ones
Let’s stop all the fight
A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear
And so this is Christmas
And what have we done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
Ans so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young
A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear
War is over
If you want it
War is over
Now…
